For the past year I’ve really struggled to make meditation a daily part of my life. Years ago, when I was living in apartments with other guys as a bachelor, I think it was easier to make time to meditate. Being married is great- I always have someone nearby to laugh and talk to. With my wife away on a crafting retreat, in my boredom I’ve gotten to re-experience what it is like to release my constant activity and focus right on God.
Here’s a great quote from an amazing sermon: “Phillippeans: A Rebel’s Guide to Joy” I’m reading by Mark Driscoll (Mars Hill Church, Seattle):
“We tend to divert ourselves. That’s why the Danish philosopher, Soren Kierkegaard said, “If I could prescribe one remedy for the human condition, I would assign every human being to sit alone in silence in their room so they can meditate on their misery.” Because what tends to happen is we’re not happy, and rather than think about that, we just keep working, keep playing, keep sleeping.”
I’m not miserable, but in my rush to do… I don’t know what, I miss accepting what I’m going through. Two days ago I really wanted to come home, watch TV, read the mail (I normally don’t want to process the mail) and not work on my teaching sermon. It felt so good to put the mail aside, sit there on the couch with the sun streaming in and quiet myself. Just focus on God, letting every thought go away.
“We tend to be miserable. That we don’t like to think about being miserable, so we create diversions. We think about something else. We do something to take our mind off our misery.” -Blaise Pascal, 17th century Christian philosopher
Just like every time I meditate, today thoughts came rushing in my brain: rap songs I should make, furniture I should make, things I should buy, art I should do, things at work, friends, fears, etc. I love humor. For me to be food at humor, I’ve trained my mind to constantly be pulling new and different ideas together. The frustrating thing is when I want to turn those thoughts off to meditate. It all comes flooding in and I have to work to let it go. It feels good to tell myself connecting to God is more important. Now, when I’m obeying it is like I’m doing it right in front of God, which feels good- and makes me focus even stronger.
I did the same thing today, called a friend and chatted about our day. I went home, sat on the couch (and even though I was hungry and wanted to just eat a huge meal) and just closed my eyes and was silent.
I could hear the clock on the wall, the fridge running, little faint noises in the background but man it was so calming.
I re-read the above paragraphs and realized how I said “it feels good” several times. But, that statement makes sense. When I come home to myself and practice something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, it should feel good, right?
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